truth behind a mystery

I can truly say that if you ask someone if they know me (truly know me) they will each say different things! Like, no two people will probably feel the same way. Of course we are all different; being that we are individuals. But, I haven't really let people in; not really. I have given people reasons to hate me, love me, like, befriend, etc. I regret many things like everyone, but I think God himself allowed things things to happen to us all. Not complaining! But, I'm pretty glad I know the people I truly know..

My grandmother is really sick, I hate to admit it but it's true! I've sacrificed middle school, high school, college, to help her. But, we do what we can! Family is always a priority, and I don't regret taking care of her. Oh no, what about my intro? I feel if people have the wrong idea on my personality they don't know me.. I've been read wrong many times! I also love the grammatical errors here in this blog. As an amateur writer it's funny that I have written pages and pages only to need surgery on my words. lol

Being an adult has been challenging for us all, but when we look back we can either laugh or regret. I hope I never have to regret so much that it hurts! Due to my mobility (sounds like a commercial), I am able to continue school at the moment. My grandmother is hospitalized and I feel eventhough she's a fighter she's still 93! So, I will continue to visit and do what I can.

But, again I go back to the...do they know me? I dropped school, focused on the family (not the mob), I've heard many things... but people don't know why I stopped Deaconing... Actually, I couldn't deal with pain of loss of a father and still walk like I felt ok.

I rose to the top of gaming, made a name, beat local state champs, went undefeated for about 2 years in another game, etc.

I also began writing as proof that it was possible lol I told a group of friends I could do just as well as the tv shows we were watching at the time. Apparently with a 9/10 or 10/10 they like it! I'm not done after 2 years but, soon.

I've had to summon (with Gods help) the built in father skills I that were installed in me. I for a long time took care of a baby, and a grown woman. While trying to maintain relationships. (impossible) Sleepless nights, forcing yourself to awken, skipping breakfast (argh), I noticed that my own care suffered do to me caring for another.

I have been close to love a few times, and their names forever etched in my memory even if it were to be stolen by age.

But, despite all that... you can tell info, but it doesn't prove u know someone. What defines a person? Is it just character or more? Truly, maybe I dont even fully know myself. I feel I do, but for those whoever reads chances are your my age or close to it! So, either u fully know yourself or think you do. I remember when I was younger I thought I knew myself. But, age tells a diff story! Reguardless, the truth is... God needs to seriously work with me lol But, other than that.... unless you've known someone for years and have a chance to be under their character you cant truly know them.

You have to yurn for who they are, unless you will prob never know... I kinda think that (the statement presented) is true! I guess this concludes SIDE A, I guess I'll flip it over to B and end this.....

-Javario