What I should be doing!

and I shall call him... book book!

Dear all stars of Blogger; you know who you are! But, if you don't we have Jailyn, Kell, Krystle and Melanie. Life is full of inequalities and strife; I should know because I too endure such a life. Have you ever noticed yourself drifting away from that of which is supposed to be for your own good? Life is truly hard, and we hear it from when we were very tiny and we ignore it. I noticed that it feels as if life is pinpointing to target!

School has once again screwed me; they requested over 900 dollars because of their own error! What is going on? I can't continue to maintain a happiness with so much going on... This is only 10 %! I'll condense because heaven knows I can top Mel in writing>lol So, if I can top Mel; u know I will write you all to death. Anyway, due to the nature of this blog and the time and day i wont even get into everything.

I think blogging feels good though, it's a release from the bottle collection we all have inside. Blogging is like.... the original natural gas>lol Once you let it go, everything feels a- ok.lol Ignore that! But, between the personalities I have to deal with, financial aide problems, friends, drama, family, school, work, home.... life is hard. What do you do when odds all gang up on you like you wearing the wrong color in a different neighborhood, or what do you do when the odds gang up on you like your the new guy on the football team, the freshman, or just having it real bad? Well, God is number one; always.

I know that when my dad died if I could capture the expression that burned into my face It would alone kill me aside from the feeling of pain. I've lost family but loosing a parent is something I could have never understood throughout all the classmates that had already gone through that from back in the day. I felt like it was a nightmare that wouldn't go away. But, aside from that... I'm just upset from something that I found out Friday.

I find it becoming harder and harder to maintain a good presence! People insult your intelligence, try your patience, exhibit anger, rush you, attempt to manipulate you, lie, etc. I've gone through it all, but how did I get through it? There is no logical reason, I merely thank God!

I know that if I was alone my heart may be cold, dark and black as if I had smoked my life away without picking up the cancer stick. But, I try to ignore everyday situations and laugh it off because I know when I get through it I'll be stronger for it. Now to actually utilize the meaning of that pic>lol I am going to forcibly have to change myself but through God's grace and help. Why? Because, I'm not studying, I had to drop a class, I quit my job, and dang it gas is toooo high.

I must hit the books, not only for school but for all the information I love and feel I lack. Like Algebra; I don't like it. I have to take it, and I will so i can graduate. I need whatever I need to make great money and succeed! Plus, as an amateur writer I have a long way to go! So, a change is in order; and it'll take more than human hands to shape it!

I've blogged on so much today but on my last note: something that is really irksome and troublesome to my entire soul; betrayal. I'm sure there are many things that bother people, and the same goes with me. But, I have a feeling, a gut feeling that I am about to be betrayed for something trivial. So, I pray to God to free me from the situation as soon as possible; Amen!

-Javario