Sleep

Every since my dad died July 10, 2004; I cant sleep well. I have had insomnia off and on for 6 years. Yes, six as in.. after five and before seven!

My sleeping problems have spawned name calling. Vampire, night owl, nocturnal, they seriously hurt my feelings, I j/k I sold them on Ebay! But, its not something I want to keep up. A reckless sleeping habbit can ruin your entire day.

My grandmother passed who I helped take care of since 1997, and I actually did it every day, through middle school, high school, and college. 12 years of service, and love for someone who initially when she first came... was quite mean. I had no idea in my youth that she had Alzheimer's or exactly the mental state she was in. But she was my grandmother. When you stay with someone, you either learn to love them or further your dissatisfaction towards them. I met my grandmother when we took her off certain medications. A sweet elderly woman who quoted the Bible 24/7 lol She was cool, funny, and even in Alzheimer's she had common sense. She taught me many things I could not attain in youth. Wisdom from the elderly is a blessing!

I would stay up in 2009 and actually play a game called Left 4 Dead, it's a Zombie game and is rated 89 out of 100. It's very good, I would play a military game called Insurgency all to have free time to myself. Because every day I took care of someone... Randomly and surprisingly my sister had a baby. She was hurt from the pregnancy and her father worked all day. So I took care of both a baby and helped take care of my grandma. Rough! I think God himself helped me through that.. Now it's 2010, my grandmother passed, and my niece is in school. I have had relationships, I fell in love for the first time... and that failed lol Life is a mystery! My books aren't finished, I'm not in school... economy is bad! Rough... so now it's 5:20 AM and I owned idk 58 people in a shooting game called Counter Strike; Source.. terrorists vs counter terrorists.. i was a ct.. owning = destroying.. Reflecting on 2009... it was so rough.. Love of my life... wanted me as a bff instead of a bf..lol She is cool yet.. a man hates things like that. I have lost motivation to write a story that caught the attention of 10 people who urge me to continue. It's like my mind is sleep. When will it wake? Why wont it wake, these are the things I ask myself. It's a procrastination of sorts... the worse kind of sleep... thats all for now.